It’s been almost a year since our last language update (Italian, Thai and German were added last April 2014). Well, yesterday we just released the new Chinese version of My Ladyboy Date! Note that this is only Chinese Mandarin Simplified, the variant used in mainland China and Singapore, which still means 1.2 billion people. We also want to translate the site into Mandarin Traditional (used in Taiwan) and Cantonese (Hong Kong), this will come later.
About transgender women in China. Well, growing up as a transgender person in a socialist, traditional and conservative country is obviously not an easy thing to do. Although some reports confirm that tolerance is slowly growing, it still doesn’t seem like an easy place to come out publicly, transition and live a normal life, when you are transgender. And still, studies indicate that up to 0.5% of the Chinese population would identify as transgender. Multiplied by their 1.2 billion population, that’s not les than 6 million Chinese transgender people (we presume half would be man, half would be woman).
Faithful to our mission to match every single trans woman (or ladyboy) with the serious partner that she deservers, we are very happy to open our site to China, where the Internet is an essential tool for every Chinese transgender woman to, first of all, discover who she is (you don’t expect Chinese schools to teach about gender, right?), but also to get in touch with other fellow transgender women, and also finally to find love.
We dream of a world where being transgender isn’t a hindrance to anything (not even to finding love). We’re sure this will eventually come. In the mean time, we will help by providing the most decent, clean and serious dating site for trans women.
Ni hao China!
Dating ladyboys online is fun. You will encounter a lot of weird stories that are sometimes funny and sometimes annoying. However, from their stories, you will learn a lot of things at the same time. All you have to do is to be a keen observer and be cautious to choose which stories you are going to believe in. Now here are some common chit chat topic that you will encounter in the world of online dating.
Ladyboy says, baby it’s my birthday today
I’m pretty sure a lot of you guys heard this before, where the ladyboy that you just met recently wants a small celebration and a cake for her birthday but unfortunately she doesn’t have any budget for the small party that she wants. Now according to Philippine financial adviser Francisco Colayco, one common problem that a couple encounter is when they don’t have the same attitude towards valuing money. Argument starts when either one of you cannot differentiate what is the difference between “wants” and “needs” and which one is more important. It may seem shallow, “she just want a small celebration” but if you are going to look at it deeply, this things matter. Even if you can afford providing her, saying no or staying away from these request are OK. It doesn’t mean that you don’t like/love her, but rather, you are teaching her a valuable lesson in life (which is practicality) that will help your ladyboy chat mate in the future.
They say love is the language that the heart speaks. True! With no doubt I agree with it. But this is not the type of language that I want to talk about. I am talking about the language that people use to communicate on their daily lives. Knowing that ladyboy dating often starts online, and people you meet online may not speak the same language as you do. Most speak English and it can be their mother tongue, some know how to speak a little English, but few can hardly communicate using the English language. So my question is, does language a barrier in finding love specially in dating a ladyboy? Here is my thought about it.
On a technical note, undeniably it is a barrier. When one party speaks only French, and the other do not, nor can understand, then more likely you will have challenges in communicating, and more so it will make it difficult for both parties to get to know each other. Please do not tell me that sending flirts and smilies help, because this only works when you are getting someone’s attention. How about the real talk? When two people start exchanging words through chat or email. You cannot randomly answer someone who asks “Comment ça va?“, though google translator will tell you that it means “How are you?” in French, so you can answer “I am okay“. However you wanted to continue the conversation, you do not want to stop especially if you really like this person.
Online relationships with your ladyboy girlfriend are sometimes tough to handle especially when your only means of communication are chat, phones calls and Video calls. There are times when both of you are too busy, you may end up not talking at all and that’s not healthy for a relationship but when it’s either one of you are likely doing nothing at all and the other one are busy doing his or her thing, that’s where the drama starts and seek attention of partner or worst, seeks attention of others. Now how can you avoid these things to happen? There are ways that you can do to keep your communication consistent and smooth.
When your ladyboy girlfriend is on a different time zone
One common problem of online relationship are time difference. When your ladyboy girlfriend or boyfriend lives at the opposite side of the earth, for example you are living in Europe and your ladyboy girlfriend is from Asia, a little sacrifice will help. It’s either staying up late or waking up early. With this, both of you will learn to value each other’s time which is a good foundation for a relationship. And don’t forget to give and take, it means both of you are making an effort to wake up early or stay up late.
This is a pure myth, so some of the ladyboys do not believe it, but most of them do. Knowing that Thailand is a Buddhist country with 80 percent of the population practising Buddhism. Their belief somehow contributed to some of the ladyboys explanation why they existed. And this is one of the most amazing fact about ladyboys that we encountered while our stay in Thailand.
Ladies, this entry is for you. There have already been dating tips for guys, but now the tables need to be turned so that you have some tips as well.
Have a good attitude about things
The guys who take the time to get to know you probably have a good idea about how rough it can be a ladyboy in the Philippines, Malaysia and other countries. A good attitude and personality though will trump a girl who is using her looks to get with someone. They may look absolutely gorgeous, but if their personality is poor and her outlook on life isn’t a good one, then that can definitely be a deal breaker, regardless of how beautiful she is.
Sometimes online dating can be quite challenging for us ladyboys especially when we are completely clueless about the guy that we are talking to. Even he says he loves you, somehow you still don’t feel the security and you’re like hanging on a cliff might let go of you any moment. Now how can we now that he is the right one? Are there any signs that we can look for that will lead us choosing the man that we deserve? Yes there is. However, behaviour of guys still varies from individual’s personality and that could be possible reason why not all signs can be seen from him.
Now that’s a point of grammar that will either get trans organisations to issue a fatwa (against me, as usual) or maybe make them agree with me (for once). I’m personally fond of studying languages and how they evolve through time (latin languages being my favourites). I believe languages are not set in stone and evolve through time, and that words are tied to the culture of those who use them (and that the same word can be understood and felt differently from a place or another, as for the example of “ladyboy” which would get any transsexual upset in the USA, but is perfectly owned and employed by Thais). And that’s making our world beautiful
So last month we translated our site into Spanish! We are actually starting to translate our site into as many languages as possible, since we have vocation of being the number one international dating site for the transgender community. And I am being very perfectionist, I want our translations to be of the best quality possible (I told you I’m a language lover).
The man who did the Spanish version is a well educated man (American living in Mexico) who’s as close to the trans community as I am. Though we encountered a problem: “transgender” doesn’t seem to officially exist in Spanish. As gender translates with “género” in Spanish (noun, m), “transgender” would translate with “transgénero” (adj, m). But various dictionaries will return various results (or not return anything):
Do you think dating a ladyboy that could possibly turn out to be a committed relationship is just a fetish? Well let’s define fetish first.
Fetish as an object or bodily part whose real or fantasised presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression (Merriam Dictionary)
Obviously basing from this definition dating a transgender woman is far from what we call a fetish. And a man who is dating a ladyboy cannot be called a fetishist.
“Hi baby, I think I want to to get to know you better?”
Yeah right! You want to get to know an asian ladyboy better by asking her to take off her clothes in front of the camera right? The famous “I want to get to know you better” phrase is a rusty gesture from men when they start chatting with a ladyboy. Rusty as it is that comes with a sad fact that there are still transgender women who fall for this cam show traps through the magic of dating and the getting to know process. For me it is already a red flag to start a conversation like this. I for once have encountered men when I was still in the dating scene. Now that I am working for a decent ladyboy dating site this line still exists. Ladyboy members from our site or even random messages from our Facebook page asked: why men seek for cam shows?