Skip to content

He fetishizes you

This post was last updated on .

Are you a ladyboy in a ladyboy dating website? Furthermore, are you Asian?  If both are ticked in your checklist, this article is for you.

I’m an Asian ladyboy from the Philippines and I am so not new to men fetishizing me.  Please don’t take this like I’m marginalizing myself especially if you’re a white man reading this.  Even Filipino guys do so I’m speaking about MEN in general lol.  Ok Amanda, simmer down.

Also, know that most of these are from my personal experience so please take it with a grain of salt.


Part of the fetish that most men have of Asian women, ladyboys, in particular, is that we are more submissive, servile, and passive. Added to that, there are a lot more expectations that trust me, can make an Asian ladyboy get all-riled-up.

Let’s start with the most common trait that these fetishists are looking for

He’s into Submissive Ladyboys

A lot of men (mostly from the west) think that the meal ticket towards a wonderful and happy life is to be with someone who’s quite submissive. There is nothing wrong with having a preference but it’s only wrong when you’re trying to impose what you want by trying to change the person you’re dating.

Submissiveness doesn’t only tackle the topic of making love with ladyboys, it includes being with a ladyboy girlfriend in general. I’ve dated a lot of men online who wanted to manipulate me from the get-go and it is kind of off-putting. To be honest, I’m very attracted to alpha males but these fetishists are just plain a-holes.

Submissive Ladyboy

What they do is they usually talk down on ladyboys and assume that because we grew up in an impoverished country, we lack education and comprehension. A lot of us know how to read between the lines and we’re not all desperate to be saved by a knight in shining armor.

If a guy makes you feel like you’re an idiot in your initial conversations and if he’s often talking about himself and doesn’t even give you the floor to shine, he’s probably a narcissist who’s looking to fulfill his submissive wife fetish at your expense.

Servile, she’s the perfect ladyboy for him

Catering to a man can be quite a joy. As a ladyboy, I truly enjoy feeling like a woman by serving my man and providing him with all the care that he needs. However, not all ladyboys share the same mindset with me and nor they should. We’re all allowed to possess individualities and what makes us more beautiful is our uniqueness.

I admire and look up to a lot of alpha ladyboys and I truly enjoy their company. I’m pretty sure that even if they’re not the quintessential “wife material” type of gal, they deserve to be loved and cherished like everybody else.

Serviled Ladyboy

If being servile is not in your nature, you don’t have to change an inch of yourself. Don’t try to be who you’re not in order to keep a man’s attention. Pretending won’t get you anywhere down the road. I’m pretty sure that there’s a man out there who prefers women like you.

Exactly how am I to know that my man is just fetishizing me in talks of being servile? Easy, Lorraine, or whatever your name is. To know if a man is just fetishizing you, the only sign that you have to look for is if he’s treating you like a maid.

Seriously, if he’s not treating you like a partner and he’s not helping you at all in little ways in the house, he probably thinks that you’re his imported nanny who he sleeps with from time to time.

You’re a BOTTOM

If dating you is his first time with a ladyboy, he probably gets a pass. The majority of men are not prepared to bottom the very first time they meet up with a ladyboy. This is quite understandable. However, because most Asian ladyboys have a petite frame and a lot of us are shorter than the men we date, they tend to perceive us as exclusively bottoms.

Kissing couple

However, the bedroom role isn’t something that can easily be generalized most especially when it comes to a relationship between a ladyboy and a man. There are a plethora of ladyboys who are tops and versatile. This is the common misconception that men have and is frankly, quite insulting.

There’s a saying to never judge a book by its cover and it greatly applies in this situation. If he only wants you to be bottom in the relationship but you’re not enjoying on your end and you’re just trying to appease him because you don’t want to end a relationship, congratulations, you’re a fetish fulfiller.

If this is the only value that you see for yourself, who am I to judge you? But girl… being in a relationship without achieving pleasure? Ugh… that’s a bummer.


Now that we’re done with the personalities, let’s move on to something more irritating, the fetishists’ fetishes when it comes to ladyboys’ looks. Girl, I know that I’ve checked a lot of boxes on the first section already but let me give you a wombo combo to seal the deal and decide whether you should continue your relationship with your “boyfriend”.

The first decent dating site for ladyboys & cool guys
Join over 125,000 members
Sign up now

He wants me to retain my long black hair

Men prefer it when I have long black hair.  Most of them say that it enhances my “Asian” beauty and that I look sexier and exotic with it.

Look, mister, I will sport whatever kind of hairstyle I want.  Hell, I’d even wear a Marilyn Monroe wig when I feel like doing so.

ladyboy with long black hair

I mean, how would you feel like if I tell you that I’m into clowns or YMCA men, what are you going to do about it?  If you truly love a person, you will not try to change her. It may sound cliched but if you will only try to live by it, there will be fewer complications in your relationship.

You’re not FEMININE enough

If the man you’re dating tells you that you’re not feminine enough and you should change your looks by undergoing plastic surgery, you must leave him IMMEDIATELY. He probably wants to play with Barbie dolls and he’s hoping that you could be his toy.

A real gentleman will not tell you that you’re not feminine enough. This equates to him saying you’re not good enough. Why is he dating you to begin with if he doesn’t find you feminine at all?

ladyboy not feminine

Besides, not all ladyboys are blessed to be quite passable and some ladyboys weren’t fortunate enough to start hormone replacement therapy (HRT) at a young age. If he’s telling you that he loves you no matter what but he’s adamant in encouraging you to lay down on the operating table, he’s a loser.

Go get yourself a REAL man who will see you as a REAL woman and not a plaything. Before I vomit all over myself from discussing this type of guy, let’s move on to another annoying type of man.

He prefers darker skin

I have very fair skin and it’s the way that I was born. However, I don’t quite fit into the ever-popular Thai or Filipina prototype look.  A lot of men, mostly white, tell me that I don’t have a lot of sensual appeal because of my skin color.  Well, to be honest, the men who told me that aren’t my exact cup of tea as well anyway so I didn’t feel as offended.  Some guy also went as far as calling me a Plain Jane.

perfect girl

If you have a preference, don’t try to add me or get to know me to begin with and later tell me that I am not enough for you.

What kind of game are you playing anyway? Make me fall in love and let me land on my butt?

Look, mister, if you don’t find someone attractive from the get-go, do not bother her. Let her be! Don’t “see potential” and change her to your liking. 

You are not as HUNG as others

I am not the type of person who likes to generalize male genitalia sizes but in comparison to the amount of adult films that I’ve watched, Thai ladyboys really do have bigger girltoys than my Filipina sisters.

plant ans sausage

If a guy measures your worth with the length of your manhood, he’s better off married to a horse. If gurltoy size is all that he cares for, he can live in a land of dildos for all he wants. Don’t RSVP into that.

You’re not a skinny Asian ladyboy

If it’s of any NEWS to you, Filipinos have very fattening foods and we will enjoy it as much as we want to.  Once he calls you fat and you don’t pass his Asian ladyboy adult film star standards, don’t make things more complicated for him.  Free him and let him go on whatever he wants to.

skinny ladyboy

Don’t crucify him because of his standards.  Only crucify him if he entered a relationship with you looking and weighing absolutely the same, on the day he asked you to be his girlfriend.  You don’t need that kind of mental stimulation.  Life is too short for you to decipher his volatility.

Good luck



Posted in Love & relationships
The first decent dating site for ladyboys & cool guys
Join over 125,000 members
Sign up now

About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine has been a writer for My Ladyboy Date for over 10 years. She writes various topics on trans dating and other trans-related content. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman have given her a unique point of view on trans topics. She has written 5 books on trans women’s relationships and has made it on Amazon’s best-seller list. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” reached #3 on the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. Her love for writing started when she won a poetry contest in 4th grade which made her pursue a career in literature.

Related posts

Comments (0)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *