If you’ve heard this word before and you’ve been using it carelessly, you’re probably unaware of what shemale truly means. Some feel that it’s an offensive word and some would argue that semantics are at the end of the day, just semantics.
However, before you spout this word on a whim, you must know its origin first for you to come up with a sane decision on whether you should use it or not.
What is a Shemale?
Shemale is a term that’s coined by the porn industry to identify transgender women.
Before the popularization of transgender women in the media, it was a term that’s only known by insiders of men who are into transgender women or hurled as an insult against the community.
Origin of the word Shemale
It’s a play of 2 words which are “She” and “Male”. Its long-form can also be read as “She is Male”.
Suffice to say, it discredits the womanhood of transwomen but we will discuss that more in the latter parts.
How does a Shemale look like?
Since shemale is an umbrella term for transgender women (albeit offensive), they come in different forms.
Some have undergone hormone replacement therapy and look quite feminine.
Some are natural and some have had cosmetic procedures done i.e. breast augmentation, hip and buttocks enhancements, shaving of the adam’s apple, etc.
Furthermore, post-op transwomen (the ones who already have a vagina) are sometimes still addressed as shemales.
Word usage popularity
The term shemale is more popular in the west. Its counterpart in the east would be “ladyboy”. They kinda share the same meaning and intent, however, ladyboy is usually less offensive as countries that often use the term don’t speak English as a first language (Thailand, Philippines, etc).
This is apparent and you’ll see the difference in terms of race when you perform a search of the 2 words in Google Images accordingly.
How to meet shemales
If you want to have a real-life look on shemales, you can meet them by using a dating site like My Ladyboy Date.
There are plenty of beautiful transgender women in the site but before you put your feet in the water, you must finish this article first.
Because you already know how to meet shemales does not mean that you should just go about it without taking ample preparations.
Where do you meet shemales?
Shemales are women so you can take them out on a date like how you would with cisgender women (women born by birth).
You can find a lot of guides in this blog and I’m pretty sure that you’re able to find the perfect setting for your first date with them.
Shemales are quite different from each other so you can’t do a one-size-fits-all approach. After all, we are not manufactured in a factory somewhere.
However, I highly recommend if you can ask her out on a date wherein it’s not too private and won’t give her the notion that you’re embarrassed to go out with her.
Trust me, the place of date will be TELLING of your real intentions. I’m not saying that you are not genuine so please don’t be too offended.
Let’s go back to the definition of shemale and what type of people use this term.
Who uses the word Shemale?
Now that you know what a Shemale is, you may be asking yourself why it still exists.
As I’ve written above, to some people, semantics are just semantics. Most of these people did not go through transitioning and can’t empathize with transwomen.
Some have the right and some are just out there to exploit. Added to that, some just don’t know the correct word to address transgender women.
The Bigots
If you still want to use the word shemale for any reason, you may as well be one of the bigots.
If the word doesn’t directly affect you but you are aware of its repercussions when it comes to transwomen’s feelings…
yet, you choose to keep saying it carelessly, you’re indeed a bigot.
Alright, let me take a breather lol. That paragraph was too long, Amanda!
I digress. Another group of people uses the word shemale as well.
Transgender Women
This may seem hypocritical to you but transwomen CAN use this.
Take the same principle of why the “N-word” CAN only be used by black people.
We are the only ones who’ve experienced the impact (mostly negative) of this word and we’ve earned the right to use it.
If you’re not a person of trans experience, you should lay off this word completely if you don’t want to offend anyone.
Frankly, I don’t see any benefit for you of using this word in any way.
Porn Industry
The term shemale became popular before the terms transgender, transwomen, transgender women, etc. came to light, hence, more people type it on the web browser when they’re looking for trans porn.
The language of humans and the language of search engines are a bit different from each other.
This is why the porn industry is still using this term. If a company that sells trans porn doesn’t capitalize on the term shemale, it will be losing a lot of views.
Escort Businesses
Because Google sees shemale as a hot keyword to describe transgender women, transwomen escorts are using the word shemale as well.
Just like with the porn industry, if an agency or an independent escort doesn’t use this term, they will lose a lot of Johns.
Common Misconceptions
There’s a lot of misconceptions on what a shemale is. In this section, we’re going to debunk the most common ones.
Shemales are Masculine, Transwomen are Feminine
Some people think that because shemale is an offensive word, it’s used to describe transgender women who are not as lucky to be as passable as others.
This is incorrect.
Shemales, transwomen, transsexuals, transgender women, etc. are all women. They’re not defined by how they look and other superficial aspects.
Their gender is determined by how they feel and goes beyond what others think of them.
They have big dicks
When you type the word shemale in search engines, you’ll often see well-hung transwomen engaging in sexual acts as a top.
Most adult entertainers are hung, be it men or shemales.
A person outside the trans world or trans experience often sees these images which has led to the misconception that all shemales have big penises.
Shemales only have sex with men
This is wrong. Not all shemales are heterosexuals.
Some shemales prefer to have sex with women albeit trans or not.
Shemale is a word that’s used to define gender and not sexual identity.
Don’t think that lesbian/bi shemales just wasted their time in transitioning as they still ended up with women as gender and sexual preference are 2 very different things.
Why you shouldn’t say the word Shemale
If you’re not a transgender woman, please don’t use this word. A lot of women like me are beginning to find offense in this and if you don’t want to be misconstrued, it’s better for you just avoid this word altogether.
You’ll invalidate our womanhood
Because a lot of negative connotations come with the word, it’s only right to take offense. We are not creatures of “duality”.
Our trans experience and transition didn’t occur in order to fulfill people’s “best of both worlds” fantasy. We are not a mix of “She” and “Male”.
It’s better to be called a woman with something extra rather than the aforementioned.
Most of us have jobs outside the adult industry
Because most of us are not working as escorts, cam girls, porn actresses, etc., we don’t find the need to use the term shemale.
If you’re comfortable with using this because some transwomen are, it doesn’t necessarily apply to the majority of us.
I’m not here to tell you who or how to be, I’m trying to help you avoid misunderstandings.
For some ladies reading this, please don’t type hate on your keyboards just yet. I used to work in the adult industry too so I’m in no way demeaning your job. I’ve been there and I know how it feels.
Form real relationships
If you want to be with a transgender woman and you’re still trying to test the waters out, veer from using the word shemale.
You’re an amazing person if you’re into us so don’t mess things up.
I’ve written a lot of dating guides on this website and if you’re a novice when it comes to transgender dating, hop on to my other articles.
Going forward
Now that you have your question of what’s a shemale answered, please share this on your timeline.
Nothing’s impossible with proper education and dissemination. Show this article to friends and family members who are still using this word lightly. Now that’s a word that we’d like to see you spread!
Join the conversation and share your thoughts.
xx
Amanda
What about the word tranny?
There is still a negative connotation to it. There are girls who are okay with it, and others do not like it. So to be safe, it is best to use these term: ts, tg, trans, trans woman, transgender woman, tgirl.
I like to use the word “woman” when referring to a transgender woman. But that’s just me.
Hello John Smith,
I believe that is just and right. We believe and promote that transgender women are women so it is just perfect that we refer to them as women.