What is a Shemale and why you should avoid this word

If you’ve heard this word before and you’ve been using it carelessly, you’re probably unaware of what shemale truly means. Some feel that it’s a derogatory term and some would argue that semantics are at the end of the day, just semantics.

However, before you spout this word on a whim, you must know its origin first for you to come up with a sane decision on whether you should use it or not.

What is a Shemale?

It is a term that’s coined by the porn industry to identify male to female transsexual.

Before the popularization of transgender women in the media, it was a term that’s only known by insiders. These are men who are into transgender women. The term was also hurled as an insult against the trans community.

Origin of the word

It’s a play of 2 words which are “She” and “Male”. Its long-form can also be read as “She is Male”.

Suffice to say, it discredits the womanhood of transwomen but we will discuss that more in the latter parts.

How does she look like?

Since shemale is an umbrella term for transgender women (albeit offensive), they come in different forms.

Some have undergone hormone replacement therapy and look quite feminine.

Some are natural and some have had cosmetic procedures done i.e. including:

• breast augmentation
• hip and buttocks enhancements
• shaving of the adam’s apple
• and more

Furthermore, post-op transwomen (the ones who don’t have male genitalia anymore) are sometimes still addressed as shemales.

Word usage popularity

The term is more popular in the west and was popularized in the mid-19th century. Its counterpart in the east would be “ladyboy”. They kinda share the same meaning and intent.

However, ladyboy is usually less offensive as countries that often use the term don’t speak English as a first language (Thailand, Philippines, etc).

Others also use this term to insult cisgender or trans woman who are deemed to be:

• an aggressive woman
• humorous colloquialism for female especially an aggressive one
• imply that she is working in the streets (prostitute)
• an individual with less pronounced female secondary sex characteristics

This is apparent and you’ll see the difference in terms of race when you perform a search of the 2 words in Google Images accordingly.

How to meet shemales

If you are into trans dating or curious about Asian ladyboy, you can meet them by using a dating site like My Ladyboy Date. There are plenty of beautiful transgender women in the site but before you put your feet in the water, you must finish this article first.

Because you already know how to meet them does not mean that you should just go about it without taking ample preparations.

Where do you meet them?

They are women and lives full time as a woman so you can take them out on a date like how you would with cisgender women (women born by birth).

You can find a lot of guides in this blog and I’m pretty sure that you’re able to find the perfect setting for your first date with them.

They are quite different from each other so you can’t do a one-size-fits-all approach. After all, we are not manufactured in a factory somewhere.

However, I highly recommend if you can ask her out on a date wherein it’s not too private and won’t give her the notion that you’re embarrassed to go out with her.

Trust me, the place of date will be TELLING of your real intentions. I’m not saying that you are not genuine so please don’t be too offended.

Let’s go back to the definition of shemale and what type of people use this term.

Who uses the word?

Now that you know what a Shemale is, you may be asking yourself why it still exists.

As I’ve written above, to some people, semantics are just semantics. Most of these people did not go through transitioning and can’t empathize with transwomen.

Some have the right and some are just out there to exploit. Added to that, some just don’t know the correct word to address transgender women.

The Bigots

If you still want to use this word for any reason, you may as well be one of the bigots.

If the word doesn’t directly affect you but you are aware of its repercussions when it comes to transwomen’s feelings…

yet, you choose to keep saying it carelessly, you’re indeed a bigot.

Alright, let me take a breather lol. That paragraph was too long, Amanda!

I digress. Another group of people uses the word as well.

Transgender Women

This may seem hypocritical to you but transwomen CAN use this.

Take the same principle of why the “N-word” CAN only be used by black people.

We are the only ones who’ve experienced the impact (mostly negative) of this word and we’ve earned the right to use it.

If you’re not a person of trans experience, you should lay off this word completely if you don’t want to offend anyone.

Frankly, I don’t see any benefit for you of using this word in any way.

Porn Industry

The term shemale became popular before the terms:

• transgender
• transwomen
• transgender women
• etc.

More people type it on the web browser when they’re looking for trans porn.

The language of humans and the language of search engines are a bit different from each other.

This is why the porn industry is still using this term. If a company that sells trans porn doesn’t capitalize on this term, it will be losing a lot of views.

Escort Businesses

Because Google sees it as a hot keyword to describe transgender women, transwomen escorts are using this word as well.

Just like with the porn industry, if an agency or an independent escort working in the sex industry does not use this term, they will lose a lot of Johns.

Common Misconceptions

There’s a lot of misconceptions on what a shemale is. In this section, we’re going to debunk the most common ones.

They are Masculine, Transwomen are Feminine

Some people think that because shemale is an offensive word, it’s used to describe transgender women who are not as lucky to be as passable as others.

This is incorrect.

Shemale, trans women, transsexual woman, transgender women, etc. are all women. They’re not defined by how they look and other superficial aspects.

Their gender is determined by how they feel and goes beyond what others think of them.

They have a big cock

When you type this word in search engines, you’ll often see well-hung transgender person engaging in sexual acts as a top. Most adult entertainers are hung, be it men or shemales.

A person outside the trans world or trans experience often sees these images which has led to the misconception that all of them have big tits and big penises.

They only have sex with men

This is wrong. Not all of them are heterosexuals. Some prefer to have sex with women albeit trans or not.

It is a word that’s used to define gender expression and not sexual identity.

Don’t think that lesbian/bi transgender women just wasted their time in transitioning as they still ended up with women as gender and sexual preference are 2 very different things.

Why you shouldn’t say the word Shemale

If you’re not a transgender woman, please don’t use this word. A lot of women like me are beginning to find offense in this and if you don’t want to be misconstrued, it’s better for you just avoid this word altogether.

You’ll invalidate our womanhood

Because a lot of negative connotations come with the word, it’s only right to take offense. We are not creatures of “duality”.

Our trans experience and transition didn’t occur in order to fulfill people’s “best of both worlds” fantasy. We are not a mix of “She” and “Male”.

It’s better to be called a woman with something extra rather than the aforementioned.

Most of us have jobs outside the adult industry

Most of us are not working as:

• escorts
• cam girls
• porn actresses
• brothel madams
• etc.

So we don’t find the need to use this term.

If you’re comfortable with using this because some transwomen are, it doesn’t necessarily apply to the majority of us.

I’m not here to tell you who or how to be, I’m trying to help you avoid misunderstandings.

For some ladies reading this, please don’t type hate on your keyboards just yet. I used to work in the adult industry too so I’m in no way demeaning your job. I’ve been there and I know how it feels.

Form real relationships

If you want to be with a transgender woman and you’re still trying to test the waters out, veer from using this word.

You’re an amazing person if you’re into us so don’t mess things up.

I’ve written a lot of dating guides on this website and if you’re a novice when it comes to transgender dating, hop on to my other articles.

Going forward

Now that you have your question of what’s a shemale answered, please share this on your timeline.

Nothing’s impossible with proper education and dissemination. Show this article to friends and family members who are still using this word lightly. Now that’s a word that we’d like to see you spread!

Other terms for Shemale that you could look up are:

• Tranny (derogatory)
• Newhalf (Japan)
• Kathoey (Thailand)
• Hijra (India)
• Waria (Indonesia)
• Bakla / Bayot (Philippines)
• Travesti (Latin America)

Join the conversation and share your thoughts.

xx

Amanda