There are many reasons why inadequacy and insecurity come to play. In a relationship, these are usually brought upon by the partner. In this guide, specifically the man. There are many issues that are quite mind-boggling most especially if you’re in a new relationship with him.
These are… is this relationship his first time with a ladyboy? Does he know how sex with ladyboys goes? Will I be able to fulfill his needs as a ladyboy? Truly, our minds go in myriad directions. Before I share with you the triggering factors of these insecurities, let’s first talk about him.
Is he Perfect?
It’s quite silly to be so caught up with ourselves. First of all, nobody’s perfect. Why are we so wired to think that we have to be someone who we can’t be just because we want to be the PERFECT match for our partner? If you make a list of the PROS and CONS of your boyfriend, you will see that he will rack up a lot of items in the latter section.
Trust me, if you don’t cheat on the mini-test above, you will know that I’m not bluffing. You have to treat him the way you treat yourself. You can’t be lenient with him while being too strict on yourself. Enjoy your individualities and only then, both your imperfect selves can have the chance to be the PERFECT pair.
Does He Trigger You?
Some men were born to be assholes. In this case, this isn’t your fault.
You’re not insecure just because of your own doing. There are many guys out there who like to play with emotions.
If your boyfriend does the things below often, get rid of him immediately.
- Compliments other ladyboys generously yet never does the same to you.
- Pick on everything that you do.
- Constantly makes fun of your looks or your intellect.
- Tries to inspire you by providing you celebrities who you should aspire to be.
- Insults how you dress and your taste in everything.
- Doesn’t let you do things because you CAN’T.
- Lectures you all the time like you’re a nincompoop.
Please know that the items on the list above don’t apply to constructive criticism. However, if the criticism is quite frequent, it’s not constructive anymore.
Compares You To His Exes
This type of man is so gross that he needs to be voted off the island. I don’t even know why people like this exist in the ladyboy dating world. It’s kind of comical to sign up for a new flame if you can’t get over your ex. Seriously, why bother and drag innocent beings into your life just because you can’t get who you truly want.
If you have this kind of partner, know that this speaks volumes about him and not you. You are just in the receiving end of his failed manifestations. It is utterly disrespectful for you to be compared to one of his exes… or anyone! He signed up to be in a relationship with you so he should treat you as a soul.
Why should you stay in a relationship like this? It will never give you peace of mind and you’ll always be insecure. Trust me, he will never be able to fulfill you emotionally.
Blames You A Lot
Are you sure that you’re dating a man and you did not adopt a BIG BABY? He’s the kind that will blame you for literally everything that’s wrong. I’m pretty sure that you remember being a spoiled kid and whining to your mother like everything’s her fault. The difference is, now you’re in the receiving end of the spoiled brat’s woes.
This man will blame you for why he’s late for work. He’ll also blame you for his finances. You will be screamed at just because he didn’t find your cooking amazing. He will also accuse you of stealing from the grocery budget.
Yuck, this is the type of man that you should avoid. I’ve experienced this personally and it still grosses me up to this day. However, I have my youth to blame for my stupid decisions so if you’re still here and are able to relate, it’s time to wear your big girl panties.
He is Not Generous
One primary reason for your insecurity is probably because you’re not being able to experience how other ladyboys get treated by their partners in a relationship. It’s probably because your partner doesn’t treat you how you should deserve to be treated.
You see, if your boyfriend makes decent money but never buys you gifts, you’ll find nothing wrong about it. Sure, there’s absolutely nothing negative about a man who knows how to save… up until you see your friend’s new necklace.
Yup, she will casually mention the gifts that her boyfriend gives her which leads you to believe that you deserve the same. Frankly, there’s nothing wrong with this mindset because men should never make their partners feel left out. However, not all men are generous and this doesn’t make them bad people.
Men are not mind-readers and sometimes, they’re just not gifting you because they don’t want to offend you most especially if you’re the independent type of woman. In this case, you have to have a conversation with them about this so you won’t attend a reunion with your friends with a bare décolletage anymore.
He’s Just Not That Into You
Men are like plants. They’re not complicated. Just water them and give them sunlight and they’re good to go. If you feel like he’s often quite and you don’t feel like you’re in a relationship with him, he’s probably not into you.
We can’t discount the fact that there are introverted people. However, you’re in a relationship for Pete’s sake. If he’s too quiet even when you’re together and he doesn’t seem to care about you, he PROBABLY DOESN’T.
Most men who are truly in love will do anything to keep you happy. If you encounter this type of man, your life will be an endless loop of wondering why, when, who, what, where, and how. You’ll perpetually be bombarded with insecurities that you shouldn’t be feeling just because this guy never manifests the qualities of a real partner.
Now that I’ve addressed the possibilities of him, triggering your insecurities, it’s time to move on to the more possible reason…
You and Other Ladyboys
Have you ever felt so insecure that sometimes, you wind up comparing your life with other ladyboys’? I know that I write mostly about ladyboy dating but sometimes, when I see someone that manifests the goals that I haven’t achieved yet, I can’t help but feel down.
To be honest, there are easily a lot of triggering factors especially if you follow or have a lot of ladyboy friends online.
Your Triggering Factors
Sometimes, when you’re randomly scrolling your feed, you see someone much younger than you but also, prettier and you start questioning your worth.
There are also times when your friend posts photos together with her boyfriend which she found in the same ladyboy dating site you’ve been on for years… actually, you even signed up way before her but she found love way earlier than you.
I am not going here to list everything that irks you but just know that I understand how you feel.
I’m never going to be the perfect ladyboy who always has the perfect makeup, hair, and body.
I’m never going to experience young love anymore because I’m way past that.
However, there are things that we have that we don’t know are triggering factors to them as well.
Their Triggering Factors
For example, I’m an independent ladyboy. I have my own career and I know how to diversify it using my different set of skills. I am not exclusively leaning on a man to buy what I want which one of those trophy ladyboys envy me for. When I want a pair of shoes, I don’t have to be a good girl or walk on eggshells to deserve it.
There’s also the factor that I’ve used my time more into studying and researching rather than beautifying myself, which in turn makes me a better conversationalist and they admire me because of it.
To be honest, I get a lot of messages from these gorgeous ladyboys (that I sometimes wish I possessed a fragment of their beauty… well body, I still think I’m prettier than them lol) who surprisingly always come to me for advice about life and anything in general because they’ve lived guarded lives and have less knowledge about things other than knowing how to please a man or eat a whole pizza without gaining a pound.
They are vocal about telling me how they envy my brains and etc. but little do they know, I envy them through different things as well.
Comparison is Inevitable
My point is… don’t waste your time dwelling on thoughts about who is better.
The only comparison that you should be focused on is you from 5 years ago and the current you.
Did you utilize that time to experience something new? Did you do something to enhance anything about yourself?
There will always be a comparison between you and other ladyboys because we are all different individuals but remember that what’s non-existent in this situation is the “WINNER”.
You both have different destinies and just like what they say, there’s no use in comparing an orange to an apple.
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