Top 8 Pressures that Single Ladyboys face

Dealing with life in general for a ladyboy is hard enough. And it’s made even harder when you’re single. Today, we’re going to enlist the common pressures that single ladyboys go through. These are imposed by different sources and you’ll understand why it’s very important to have genuine intentions before trying to date ladyboys.

1. Must not wind up an Old Maid

One of the most riveting S*x and the City episodes is the one where Carrie mocks the ideology that Charlotte shared regarding that a woman “Must not wind up an Old Maid”.

This thought, even though publicly looked down on, still resonates with many single ladyboys especially if they’re in their 30s. Many countries in the west have laws allowing ladyboys to marry. And some who achieved being a ladyboy wife share their happiness with the world.

These rare realities are magnified with the help of social media and certain influencers which in turn, puts unnecessary pressure on ladyboys who aren’t in the same situation. A lot of them think that “If she can do it, I can do it too”, only to be granted despair when they don’t get married or if there are delays.

2. Seeing ladyboy friends getting married

The thought affects single ladyboys, even more, when the gap becomes thinner when they see their ladyboy friends getting married. The idea, which was mostly just theoretical to someone, becomes a nagging pressure. The feeling is very similar to when your colleague gets picked to be promoted instead of you.

They’re putting as much effort into logging in on their dating profiles, going on dates, and strategically positioning themselves but somehow, the stars aren’t aligned for them.

They sometimes feel like a failure or they have thoughts of not being smart, pretty, and desirable enough. A lot of them give up because this kind of pressure becomes too much to handle. It’s highly intrusive and mentally draining.

3. What about the family? Who’s going to help them?

This factor doesn’t involve common jealousy or fitting in anymore. Most Asian cultures where a lot of ladyboys come from, value family ties so much. And it is if not expected, at the very least, hoped for, that the one who doesn’t have kids, provide for the rest of the family who’s in need.

Because of this situation, a lot of ladyboys don’t have an idea of how they’re going to move forward with their romantic lives because they don’t want to abandon their families, making them forget the idea of living elsewhere.

They then get stuck in dating local men who aren’t necessarily compatible with them but won’t require them to move too far from their families.

Added to that, it’s not only the immediate family that they’re compelled to help. Some of them feel like they have to carry the burden of their extended families. Poverty on top of poverty is not something that only takes a walk in the park to solve.

4. The Catholic Guilt

Some Filipino ladyboys are heavily subscribed to the ideologies of the Catholic religion. They torment themselves by not acting upon the other activities involving a healthy relationship. They formulate an unneeded fear and limit themselves by living the dogma of “being a ladyboy” as the only “sin” that they should commit.

The ideas of gender reassignment, engaging in intimate activities, or getting married to the same s*x, are all too much. These notions are the ball and chain that stop them from achieving happiness. These are constantly telling them that they’ll probably end up burning in hell for the rest of their afterlife.

Most men will not have the patience to be in a relationship with someone who possesses such a close mind. Online dating provides a paradox of choices which makes ladyboys with Catholic guilt, have a harder time finding a partner.

5. Preferring local men in a country where same-s*x marriage is illegal

However, not everyone suffers from the ill effects of archaic ideologies. Some, know how to live their lives to the fullest but are fated to live in a country where rights don’t exist for them.

Only one country in Asia which is Taiwan, legalizes same-s*x marriage. Others are only territories and cities:

• The British Overseas Territories of Akrotiri and Dhekelia
• The British Indian Ocean Territory
• and certain cities in Israel

But most ladyboys come from Southeast Asia, namely Thailand, the Philippines, and Vietnam. Not all ladyboys prefer Western men because culture is one of the most important factors of compatibility.

Added to that, societies in these countries still consider having a relationship with a ladyboy taboo, which forces ladyboys to date men who won’t openly admit that they’re dating a ladyboy.

6. Not wanting to move to a foreign land

Some ladyboys who found love using the internet find themselves in a cul de sac when it’s finally time to take the next step. This step is the one where they’re required to move to the country where it’s legal to get married. There are numerous reasons as to why some ladyboys don’t want to move.

• Language barrier
• Fear of the unknown
• Not wanting to leave their families
• Lack of confidence that they’ll find a job
• Romantically linked crime stories about western men killing their Asian wives
• Not having independence and more

Added to that, it’s very hard to know even if you’re dating someone for a very long time unless you have lived with them continuously under the same roof.

7. Seems like nobody’s serious

Some aren’t even pressured but have developed cynism after a long and winding time of dating. Many dating websites for ladyboys revere physical intimacy so much that their site’s premise becomes the culprit in attracting low-quality men.

If you’ve been to many dating sites, you’ll be aware that a lot of websites have a strong message of “dating sexy ladyboys”. Sadly, even if it’s a very effective marketing ploy, the ladyboy members are the ones that suffer.

These websites don’t act as catalysts in connecting people who are looking for love. They instead, serve as online brothels for men who only date ladyboys for leisure.

8. An influx of Bad Dates

Because of bad marketing practices, many ladyboys end up going on bad dates. Dates that were never formulated by men out of the goal of finding a romantic partner but were planned due to hopes of getting laid with many ladyboys, and for free.

In most situations, ladyboys prepare to look their best on these dates, with tantamount illusions that they’re going to get married, only to find out that they were just one of many ladyboys in his dating itinerary. Others have it worse because not only will they have one bad date, but they unknowingly become a random dude’s Holiday Girlfriend.

If you think that finding love is hard, finding love as a single ladyboy is even harder. Should you have any ladyboy friends or planning to date one, don’t do anything to add to the pressure that they’re facing.

Be the helping hand and support system they need. You don’t have to go the extra mile. Respecting and listening are already more than enough.