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To Date or Not to Date? Quick advices on common ladyboy dating problems

Maki Gingoyon
This post was last updated on .

In this age and time Ladyboys may already be widely accepted in the society.  Schools, workplaces and the corporate world would not insist on a strict dress code for transgenders. This means commonly, you see them anywhere and everywhere in all walks of life.  If this is so, does this mean that ladyboys are now entitled to enjoy every aspect of life?  I’m sure you would all agree with me if I say YES! But unfortunately, although most people already have an open mind with sharing a working space or a fastfood table with someone from the 3rd sex, seeing a ladyboy dating would somehow still raise brows.  It seems that among ladyboys, one of the most difficult and commonly talked about issue is Dating.  Here are common problems ladyboys encountered on dating and what we could do about it.(Common in the Philippines setting)

Being seen dating a man in public

The problem

In Love and romance, we grew up with the notion that a man is for a woman, a male for a female. Since we all grew up believing in this norm, any relationship that’s other than that is Taboo. So whenever a man is seen dating a ladyboy in public, they are usually being talked about, judged, or laughed at. It’s like automatically, when a ladyboy is seen with a male date, an overhead spotlight follows them around and people start talking.

My Advice

Even though how conscious you may be. Think like a celebrity and not care! Enjoy the moment and act as if dating is normal for you. If you act awkward and ashamed of dating a man, it’s going to radiate to the outside and demand more attention. Act normal and be confident  soon people would no longer mind.

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Having to hide the fact that they are ladyboys

The problem

Some ladyboys may look so much like a woman that especially at night, they are mistaken as one. Don’t be a hypocrite and say that you don’t like being mistaken as a woman, we all do. When you start turning heads, getting the male attention, being treated as a woman, you sometimes get scared to ask them if they know that you are actually a ladyboy because you might lose their attention.

My Advice

If you’re already getting into a comfortable conversation, try injecting the idea of dating a ladyboy and notice their reaction. Should he not know that you are a ladyboy before approaching you, I’m sure he will get a hint and tell you he does. If he makes an offensive reaction, save your face and excuse yourself to the “ladies” and not come back. He might’ve been a good catch, but if he doesn’t accept you for who you are then you’re better off not getting to know him and moving to the next level.

Sustaining a serious and lasting relationship

The problem

Most ladyboys may seem perfect in appearance. That “Barbie doll” look any guy would wanna be seen with. We can be the  perfect girlfriend and be everything they want in a woman. But like any other lady, we long and search for true love. Something that’s hard to find especially among ladyboys because there still is that common notion that when men would settle down and would want to have a family, they would still look for one who can give them babies.  There might be some of a lucky few who find true love in men, but most of us end up used and abused.

My Advice:

We all would want a happy ending. Even real women do! We’re not the only ones who experience being left behind, even real women do! So don’t mope and take it against the world that you were born a man physically and a woman by heart. Finding love and a lasting relationship is a challenge for everybody! So cheer up! Move on! Look at the bright side, we can never be left with kids to raise on our own when we get left behind! Lol!

All problems can be fixed with the way you look at it. Sure life might not be fair for most of us; you at least owe it to yourself to give yourself what you deserve!  If you look at it all, it all comes down to acceptance. For as long as you are who you are and you’re happy with it, you should be fine! Stand tall and be proud pretties!

Posted in Love & relationships
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About the author

Maki Gingoyon
Mabuhay! I am a Filipino transgender woman who believes that making friends with, or dating and loving a transgender woman should not be ashamed of.

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