Have people commented that before they met you, they thought you were a snob? This is something that most introverts hear and is a common misconception when it comes to online dating. While it doesn’t seem harmless, it can play a big part in your love life.

Seeming like a snob is like having a filter, but not in a beneficial way. What happens when you appear like a snob is that you will repel a lot of eligible applicants, which in turn, reduces your success rate in finding love.

Today, we’re going to talk about why you have this image and give you some tips to handle it.

Your Photos

If you’re a guy who has photos in your sports car or just casually lounging in your yacht, you may appear c0cky. This gives the impression that you know you’re “the man” and you’re seeking someone who’s on your level. Not to say that you shouldn’t be proud of your achievements, but there’s a place and time to reveal your strengths.

Moreover, doing so will only make you a golddigger magnet. So if you’re not into that, try using more modest photos.

Now, if you’re a transgender woman who has photos of you, with paper bags of Chanel and posing in a coffee shop with arms fully ornamented with jewelry, this will also make you look like a snob. Sure, these photos look Instagram-worthy but then again, you shouldn’t flaunt your wealth too much on a dating site.

Men will think that you’re only looking for someone rich. You certainly don’t want to have that image entrenched in your profile.

Your Description

Are you a fan of the words only, don’t, and required? If so, you’re seeming like a snob because you’re writing so many restrictive words. Things like:

• I only date men who are blank
• Don’t send me a message if you are blank
• Blank is required to date me

will greatly hurt your dating profile. Give chance to people to introduce themselves. Nobody’s perfect. It’s not like you’re running an empire and you’re too busy to date. Entertain everyone equally and you’ll realize that there are so many eligible single people out there.

Initial Responses

Have you ever written an application email or a resume before? Have you written the human resources department in your company? If so, you’ll know what all of these have in common… niceties!

When someone greets you and asks how you are, don’t just reply with a bland “hi”. Make yourself more reachable by taking the extra effort to write something that can brighten up one’s day. Try something along the lines of “Hey! Thanks for sending a message. I’m good, how are you?”

This will not only make you appear friendly, but it will also give the other person the idea that you’re also considerate.

No Follow-up

Do you abandon people who send you a message just like how you abandon your online shopping carts? If so, that’s one of the reasons why they think you’re a snob. Sure, if you don’t like someone, you can ghost them. After all, there are no invested feelings yet and they won’t be too hurt by leaving them on seen.

But if you like someone and expect them to like you back but you’re always on the receiving end of the conversations, they’ll feel like you’re a disinterested snob and that they’re only bothering you.

You just Talk and NEVER Listen

Conversations are two-way. Nothing will prosper out of a dialogue of only one party doing the talk. When you don’t listen, you’re not only seeming like a snob, you also seem ignorant, stupid, desperate, and obsessed with yourself. These are adjectives that you don’t want to associate with yourself if you’re looking for love.

Moreover, don’t you just get tired of the same old topics? Why don’t you lend your ears and witness how wonderful life is from different points of view.

Dismissive

When someone shares something about themselves, do you change the topic or shut them down when you don’t like what they’re hearing? A lot of people subconsciously do this because they’re so used to being surrounded by yes-men.

To avoid seeming like a snob because of your dismissive trait, practice by watching debates. Don’t take just one side. Absorb everything from both parties and you’ll see that even if you don’t agree with most of the things that one party says, you’re still going to learn something from them.

When someone disagrees with your points, lend your ears. Don’t cut them off and say, “let’s talk about something else” and then expect them to want to open up to you.

You belittle other people outside of the conversation

Are you the type of person who enjoys gossip? That’s going to be the end of your love life because most people don’t want to have a relationship with someone obsessed with other people’s lives. By doing so, you’re giving the other person a preview of how life would be hell if they commit to you.

Added to that, it will also make you seem narcissistic. 

You look down on other people’s taste

In connection with belittling others, there are people who may think that it’s cute and innocent to look down on others’ tastes. For example, if you ask someone what their favorite band is and you talk trash about it, you’re not appearing quirky and edgy. You’re being ignorant, bigoted, and a snob.

For someone who’s dating under the umbrella of the LGTBQIA+ community, you should firsthand know how it feels to be prejudged based on uncontrollable factors. If someone shares their passion about something, don’t make fun of them, and most definitely, don’t look down on them.

In some cultures, they’re very proud of their country’s food and culture. This is also something that you shouldn’t mess around with. For example, if you’re dating someone French and you’re Italian, don’t make it a competition. Sure, it can be a cute and friendly competition but don’t overdo it.

Tooting your Own Horn

Do you make 6-figures a month and you’re a top-ranking official in your company? Good for you! Do you also have a mansion in the south of France and you have a 3-bedroom apartment in Manhattan? Amazing! Do you constantly rub elbows with world leaders and you make constant appearances in lifestyle magazines? Fabulous!

But hearing about these things every day won’t be impressive anymore. These things eventually become noise. Furthermore, you will make the other person feel small so they won’t be too confident about building a life with you. After all that you’ve said, how could they measure up?

Demands

Drawing boundaries are okay but being too demanding in a relationship is not. These demands don’t only play a role internally. Some people appear to be snobs because they treat workers in a very demanding way.

Sure, know your worth, but don’t make a spectacle just because the waiter spilled something on the floor. Treat everyone with kindness and you’re going to appear more attractive.

Are you guilty of the things listed above? If so, it’s time for a change. Did you enjoy reading this guide? Please share it on your timeline and join the conversation by writing comments below.