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So many Messages but still Single

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz

If you’re single and looking for love, you probably have other apps installed apart from My Ladyboy Date. But let’s focus on the most important one because My Ladyboy Date is targeted at trans women and the men who love them. Now, you’ve raked in so many messages in your inbox and you sometimes can’t help but wonder…

Where the hell is my soulmate?

I check my accounts regularly!

Am I doomed to be single forever?

Today, we’re going to answer all of these questions and more. Please don’t be offended if we hit the nail on the head. This guide was not created to crucify you. It’s to kick your butt and remind you that like any other person, you deserve all the love in the world.

You’re too BUSY for your own good

When you say that you regularly log in, define precisely what you mean. Do you log in and then log out? Do you log in, check the messages, don’t reply, and then log out?

Or if you do reply, do you write “How are you?” and “Thank you” to the point that the conversation becomes an endless loop of shallow niceties? If so, you’re too busy for your own good.

men is watching his watch

If you truly want to make online dating work, you must put in the extra effort. You should ensure that the conversations are meaningful in order to create deeper connections.

A conversation goes both ways. You’re not a superstar who’s scheduled for the interview. You should ask questions and initiate conversations from time to time. Get this in your head, you’re not the only member on the website. The other person WILL FORGET you if you don’t seem interested.

Conversations go both ways, you can’t always be on the answering spectrum

Let’s expound on that further. If someone asks you how you are, you don’t just reply “I’m fine, thanks”. Instead, you reply “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How about you?”.

Added to that, if they ask you a question, don’t answer and wait for them to initiate again. If you’re interested in the other person, the ball is in your court so it’s your turn to ask.

Don’t think too much about what you’re going to ask. You’re not going to perform investigative journalism. Ask water cooler questions such as how their day went or what their favorite cuisine is. If you suck at conversations, just mirror their questions back to them.

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If you can’t do LDR, Explore Locally

My Ladyboy Date has an amazing feature wherein you can filter by location whenever you’re performing a search. Only look for the people within your country. Don’t force yourself if touch is at the top of your love languages. Not because you value it so much means that you equate love with carnal desires.

a couple at a restaurant

Touch in love language doesn’t only pertain to getting it on in the bedroom. These include hugs, kisses, holding hands, cuddling, and more. These are the little things that are limited by long-distance relationships. And it’s understandable to be frustrated if you don’t have these in your relationship.

Also, the advantage of exploring locally is that you get to experience if there’s chemistry early on which saves you a lot of time. You can’t compare an amazing conversation done through chat and something over dinner.

Added to that, if you’re a ladyboy and you think that there’s no one eligible in your country, you’re wrong. There are many expats around the world. Who knows? Maybe your soulmate is just one bus ride away!

You’re forcing labels too early

This is the absolute horror that many single people go through via online dating. It’s very common to go through proper deliberation before commitment. However, some single people become so desperate that they want to force a label prematurely.

There’s no reason to wear the boyfriend or girlfriend tag just after a week of constant chatting. Nobody has a terminal illness or a biological clock. What’s the rush?

Added to that, it will give an impression that you are obsessed and desperate. This is not a good combo. Furthermore, nobody wants to be with someone who’s demanding. If you do this often, you’re a walking red flag. Do better.

Stop pushing the other person

In addition to the labels, there are people who demand so much. There’s nothing wrong with establishing how you want to be treated. But it must be done in a subtle manner.

Some people demand gifts and allowances right off the bat. Others demand to have a daily sensual webcam session. Believe it or not, some people will demand a talking schedule and if the other person skips it, it’ll turn into a whirlwind of an aggressive conversation.

a nice couple

There are always demands that show how controlling one can be. These may be in the form of not allowing the other person to go to a party, attend an event, or be with friends. Some even demand to be introduced to the family members of the others even if a meeting offline hasn’t happened yet.

Trust and believe that if we enlist all of these demands, this guide will turn into the longest epic written in the world.

Have fun, dating is not a legal obligation

Are you one of the many people who had their hearts broken in a past relationship? Have you turned into someone who won’t allow it to happen again, to the point that your next relationship should play around based on the mental contract that you’ve created for yourself?

If so, good luck in finding a partner. Remember, real love is based on emotions and not logic. God forbid that the other person doesn’t check the clauses within the contract.

Don’t write them off just yet! Stop making silly rules about who you’re going to date or not. Of course, there are non-negotiables but your standards are just a guide and not to be followed so closely. What you should be following instead is your heart. Nobody’s perfect, stop trying to force this ideology.

E for Effort

Now, for the most obvious reasons as to why you’re still single even if you have an influx of admirers in your inbox, you don’t make enough effort! It is quite impossible that out of hundreds of people who are trying to get to know you, there’s no one who’s eligible for you.

writing I love you on a paper

You’re not doomed to be single forever. You’re just not doing enough. Put yourself out there. Revamp your profile and update your photos. Instead of just waiting for things to happen, look at who’s online. Check all of the options and make an effort to create wonderful conversations with them.

Delete other apps most especially if they’re not targeted at trans women and the men who love them. They’re just going to waste your time. This results in you, spreading yourself thinly. Ensure that you’re making the most out of My Ladyboy Date.

After all, it’s the first decent dating website for ladyboys and men. It’s filled with so many genuine people who are looking for love. It’s almost impossible that there’s nobody out there for you! Did you enjoy reading this guide, share it on your timeline and spread the love!

Posted in Love & relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Amanda Valentine has been a writer for My Ladyboy Date for over 10 years. She writes various topics on trans dating and other trans-related content. Her personal experiences as a transgender woman have given her a unique point of view on trans topics. She has written 5 books on trans women’s relationships and has made it on Amazon’s best-seller list. Her book “Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen” reached #3 on the Transgender Studies category on Amazon. Her love for writing started when she won a poetry contest in 4th grade which made her pursue a career in literature.

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