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Insecurities in your relationship

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Being a transgender woman, having doubts and insecurities in a relationship is a normal thing. Based on my million years of observation, this usually happened when you date with straight man.

The insecurities keep on playing inside your wild imagination because you not only “competing” with other transgender women, but also you’re “competing” with biological woman. Usually insecurity comes calling to most of us in combo Happy meal during our early relationships stage, but when it moves in permanently inside both of you it makes the relationship difficult to sustain. It even makes it more complicated when you are on Hormone Replacement Therapy. Your unbalance hormone tends to make your insecurities become wilder.

Imagination vs. Reality

Usually we tend to make up stories and then believing it as real basis on our wild imagination. Avoid “he must be with someone else” imagination. The over-imaginative may a little bit sound like the landing gear coming down from the plane. Try this simple exercise. Write it down on a piece of paper then list down the wild imagination that you created inside your  head and try to distinguish between what you imagine and what is actually happening is a massive step toward your relationship. When you done with self-evaluating with the list, ask yourself, are you fair enough to feel insecure when you know that he is dangerously in love with you? Let my words play inside your mind and think deeply.

Stop ‘mind reading’

To all my ladies, just to let you know, remember how we relax our mind by doing our window shopping and treat our eyes with lots of nice high heels? Well, similar with man. They are human beings. They also need time to relax but many men relax by not talking.

‘Mind reading’ happens when we assume what someone is thinking then we tend to jump straight away to the conclusion. You as a girlfriend should give him space to think their own thoughts.

Comparing current relationships to past relationship

Have you ever taken an immediate hate feeling towards somebody because they reminded you of someone that ever make you in tears. Some of the ladyboys do this with there own relationships. This is because they were in a relationship with someone who was abusive, very control freak and this tends to make you respond to a new partner defensively or angrily.

Thus in fact, the new partner is not really like the old one at all. The extreme form can lead to, “all men are the same!” If you suspect you have been making faulty unfair comparisons between your current partner and a former one, confess your current partner and share with him why you treat him the way you treat him now. Just tell him, you do not want him to repeat the same mistakes like what your sweetest past did to you. If he loves you, sure he will understand you. That is what love is about, UNDERSTANDING each other.

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10 thoughts on “Insecurities in your relationship

  1. I find this post very agreeable. I would just like to add something though, the sole purpose of this site is online dating, therefore you have to consider the fact that it’s not easy to completely trust someone a 100% while you’re thousands of miles away from each other. Whether you like it or not there will always be doubts. Sometimes, the question isn’t about if one is being insecure or paranoid. It’s just about being smart and knowing what you’re getting into before you invest way too much into the relationship.

    BUT I do have to admit that I have a lot of personal insecurities so maybe I’m just trying to justify my insecurities through this post. HAHA. Anyway, that’s just how I feel. 🙂

  2. Its true mang…nice one. Really wish you can come out with a novel one day,seriously.. I love it.. Keep it up!

  3. A good article, to which I would add do not assume. Remember that you usually come from different cultures so if they say something that you do not understand do not build up a scenario ask them to explain. Never assume their intentions , for instance I asked a question about my partner’s mothers finances when we would be away and she would be looking after our flat -only to be met with a tirade when all I wanted was to make sure the mother was not out of pocket and should we give the money now or later.

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