Skip to content

She’s not ready for something serious

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
This post was last updated on .

Have you been trying to get to know your ladyboy date but she seems like a prisoner of her own doubts?  Has her confidence fleeted and she’s still not a hundred percent fully open to you?  You don’t have to be a psychologist to know how to “fix” her as she may not be needing any fixing at all but it would be nice to at the very least be in the same playing field with her when it comes to entering a new relationship.

Firstly, you have to know that there is huge hope that she’s ready to have a relationship as she’s already signed up in a ladyboy dating website.  If she happens to have trust issues that clearly manifest as you’re trying to get to know her, let it be known that she may not have fully healed yet or she’s just pessimistic altogether and my first advice to you is to…

Move at a slow pace

Don’t harass her with future grand plans especially if you’ve just been exchanging messages with her in less than a month.  She will think that you’re nothing but a player with broken promises.  I don’t know your motives as to why you’d seemingly need to lay everything on the line (love at first sight, perhaps?) in a very short amount of time or you’re just a naturally romantic and giving person.  Suffice to say, I don’t care who you are but if she clearly has trust issues, take it SLOW.

Start a genuine FRIENDSHIP

In connection with taking things slow, this is the best way to get to know a person fully without jeopardizing anything.  Know her strengths, weaknesses, desires, dreams, pet peeves, favorite color, and just about anything in order for you to progress in trying to woo her and finally turn her from a ladyboy date to a ladyboy girlfriend.  Once she trusts you as a “FRIEND”, she might just be able to trust you onto the next level as a partner.

Resist the Temptation

What if you’ve done everything you could but she just trivializes your feelings and tells you that she just wants “fun”.  I am not going to speak for every single transgender woman on the planet but sometimes, us trans women, love to test men out.  Sure, you could give in and submit to her will but do you really know what she really wants innately?  Are you sure that she only likes you for sex?  Right before she writes your name on a post-it that includes men she’s disinterested with spiritually, try to resist the urge to turn what you have with her onto something that only involves sexual fluids.  Let her know and MAKE her feel that you and her deserve more than a superficial connection and that you would want her to be exclusively yours.

You can’t mend all wounds

Just like in life, we cannot expect that the first doctor we seek help from will be able to heal what we have… there are times when we need that 2nd opinion.  Be open to the fact that you’re simply not going to be the one to mend her broken heart.  There’s no use in trying to push a cart sideways.  Move on and find the right person who will appreciate all your efforts and will be more deserving of all the love that you can give.

Good luck to you!



Posted in Product updates

About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

Related posts


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *