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How to deal with Ladyboy Bashers

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No matter how feminine, soft, or passable your ladyboy date is, there will still be people who wouldn’t be thinking twice about attacking her based on her gender preferences so you have to learn how to deal with it without compromising anything.  If you have an uncontrollable temper, I don’t think this article will help you.

Today, I’m going to share with you some tips and a bonus of a personal experience of how my ex-boyfriend dealt with a rascal on the street who called me out of my name.

Let’s get started.


If the bashing happened through social media, there’s always the ever-so powerful option called “block”.  It is the only way to eradicate a basher swiftly without anyone getting hurt but the basher.  Personally, I don’t have the time to know a person’s history and upbringing as to why he/she feels the need to be vile to another human being so I’m going to let that little function that comes with the program work its magic.  You may be thinking it’s a cowardly move but to me, I find it classy.  Moving along to something that requires more effort…

Stay Cool, Calm, and Collected

When the situation borders out from digital territory, you have to have more control over your emotions.  There will be times that your ladyboy date will be addressed as gay, shemale, ladyboy, etc. with ringing resonance in public especially if you’re in a country wherein normalcy is equal to bullying transgender women and other people of the LGBT community; you have to stay cool, calm and collected.  I know how romantic it is to be defended by a knight in shining armor but I personally prefer if fistfights were avoided.

Trust me… brawls will not only ruin your date, but it will also prove to be more embarrassing for the both of you. Learn how to be deaf when these insults are hurled and give your girlfriend a gesture of comfort like kissing her or showing the haters how much you love her.  This is a more sane and effective gesture rather than getting into trouble and stooping to the level of numerous bigots.

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Words are Weapons

If an altercation cannot simply be ignored, you have to fight with your words and seek help from certain authorities rather than putting the law in your hands. Not only will this have a better ending it will also impress your ladyboy date about how intelligent you are with the choices you make. Only attack when the basher hits first so, at the end of the day, your actions will only result in self-defense.

My Ex-Boyfriend

Remember when I started this article with a promise of me, sharing a personal experience with you? Here’s how my ex-boyfriend dealt with rascals on the street…

So we were waiting for a cab when 2 little boys said… “ay bakla pala, ang ganda ng bakla”; which translates to “oh she’s a gay guy, the gay guy’s beautiful” while motioning for alms. “Bakla” is a Filipino word which roughly translates to someone who is either a gay man or effeminate male. It is very common. The majority of the people from my country are still uneducated when it comes to transgenderism.

Anyway, as you can see from their statement above, it was like a compliment; albeit executed with ignorance and misuse of words. My ex-boyfriend is Australian and all he understood was the word “Bakla”. He found it offensive and it delivered him to rage mode; which made him grab one of the kids by the collar as he screamed at them to go away. The 2 boys ran for their lives and it wasn’t a good sight to see.

Although I appreciate the gesture, he should’ve skipped the grabbing the kid by the collar part. He will get the same result if he used words and his loud voice as weapons instead. I know how you’d think these tips seem cowardly. But I think that enduring and rising above petulance is stronger than resorting to uncouth physical fights.



Posted in Love & relationships
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About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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