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3 Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
This post was last updated on .

Toxic relationships are not just exclusive to ladyboy dating but I want to talk about some possible scenarios that may ONLY occur on the said type.

If you find yourself in a rut and you can’t seem to move on; I hope these tell-tale signs will help as the final push for you to let go.

Please take everything with a grain of salt because we all have different situations.

Transition Financer

This is completely consensual. I just want to include this for there are times when superficial relationships’ masked under the illusion of love.  There is nothing wrong about helping the one you love and I am guilty of being sponsored a lot with my transition but if you find that your ladyboy date’s affinity towards you changes in levels based on what financial help you can offer her in terms of transitioning, it might be a tell-tale sign that you’re just a sugar daddy that’s being called her boyfriend for euphemism.

I personally didn’t pay for my breast augmentation surgery but at the very least, I pay for my own hormones.  If you’re handling literally everything… it’s time to question yourself if you’re up to living this lifestyle with your transgender date.  Yes, it may start out as you just want to help her physical transition. However, you’ll never know when the asking for financial help part will end.

Fantasy Fulfiller

As ladyboys, we can’t help but be fetishized by the majority of men who like us.  Personally, I don’t find anything offensive about a guy wanting my parts but if something like you being asked to do a lot of things that you can only read about in erotica novels or watch in porn in a huge slice of your time with your man, you’re probably just a fantasy fulfiller.  If the conversation is nothing but bleak, superficial, and mostly just sexual, escape as early as you can.

If it’s a set-up that you’re okay with then, by all means, stay. Just know that there are a lot of repercussions in staying with a man who doesn’t want you on a deeper level.  Don’t blame me if one day, you wind up alone at 55+, thinking of what might have been or could’ve been if you just used your brain instead of your heart lol.

Secret Lover

I’ll only consider this type of relationship if I’m earning major dollars from it lol.  By Secret Lover, I don’t mean that you’re a side chick, I mean more of he’s keeping you out from his circle because he’s embarrassed by being judged based on his sexual preference.  If he gets you tripping, looking in the mirror different, thinking you’re flawed because he’s inconsistent (yesss Cardi B!), it’s probably time to fly very far away.  Fly and not run because you shouldn’t leave footprints that he can use to chase you and bring you back to his toxic nest.

Good luck!



Posted in Love & dating

About the author

Amanda Valentine Dela Cruz
Just a random trans woman playing with makeup and skincare. Loves bacon and the operating table. I'm also the author of the dating guide book Dating Transgender Women for Gentlemen. Know more ->

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