So I am going to keep this short, simple, and straight to the point. Of course this does not mean that ladyboys are the only ones scamming. Men and women do this too, in fact some other cisgender people (a person whose assigned sex at birth matches his/her gender identity) use a transgender identity to operate their scams.
Ladyboy dating sites have been on the online dating market for quite some time already. Aside from being a venue to find someone special, unfortunately most of the transgender dating sites have become a market place to offer “pay for pleasure” services. Apparently they also became a perfect venue for the ladyboy scammers to take advantage on men by sucking as much money as they can.
Because it became a culture in the context of dating that a man needs to please a woman and win her heart through gifts, this is a perfect strategy for scammers to bite and take as much as they can from the guy. Another common strategy is to exploit a man’s kindness by making him feel pity towards their poor economic situation (which even this is a lie most of the time).
One ladyboy says “I do not have money to pay the internet, can you help me? So I can talk to you and get to know you more.” just after exchanging a couple of messages, in less than 24 hours after you met.
Another ladyboy shares her hardship and says she cannot buy a phone (of all the hardship in life, a new smart phone is the most important of them all?), once again this comes after a couple of messages a few hours after you start the conversation.
These are few examples of ladyboy online traps to get money or to scam men. Surely (and I doubt that somebody will argue that) these are giving a negative impact to the whole transgender community. Here are in my opinion the 5 major effects that ladyboy scammers have towards the transgender community.
Very self explanatory! Because we are a minority, it is so easy for the public to generalise transgender women. What is done by the few is automatically done by the many. There are so many cases of transgender women (or people using posing as them) scamming men online, that people tend to see the whole trans community as scammers.
Any transgender woman who is in a relationship with a foreigner, or who signs up on a dating site, suffers from the stigma. I suppose this happens not only to transgender women but to cisgender women too. People judge trans women as people who take advantage of the money of their boyfriend or husband, and who are always looking for a prey whenever they are on a transgender dating site. This is one of the reasons why most transgender women are so afraid of being on a dating site because of the fear of being stigmatised.
3. Dirty Image
Aside from the porn industry, stories of men who are being scammed online are one of the reasons why the whole trans community has a dirty image online. A handful of unfortunate stories of men from different forums have been shared, and this is making a stain to the whole trans community. Men won’t be taking us seriously anymore, because a lot of ladyboys already did this to serious men and are continuously doing it. The stain will grow bigger and darker as time passes by.
4. Low dignity
Not only the image of ladyboys is affected but also the dignity. We have been fighting for respect, acceptance, and uplifting the reputation of transgender women. Yet we forget the small details, such as scamming which is becoming a cancer and slowly eating the whole community. People do not tend to take us seriously because we are fighting for respect and acceptance yet some of our members are scamming, and too many of us are tolerating them! How can we get respect and acceptance if our dignity is decreasing because of ladyboy scammers? Respect begets respect!
5. Loosing an important ally
Trans oriented men are the best allies for the trans community! Simply because men who love us want the best for us. What is best for us is relatively best for them. The stigma that we suffer from is more or less the same stigma that trans oriented men suffer from, or probably worse. Trans oriented men are more than willing to fight along with us or even fight for us. Scamming men who like trans women is losing the opportunity to let our community grow, we are losing the most genuine allies for the trans community. They are our partners, they can be the best allies that we can have.
I know it is hard to accept the fact that scamming is happening and to talk about it. But I am not blind, yet I am hopeful, it may be hard to completely eradicate such social disease for this is done everywhere, anywhere and surely this is present even outside the trans community. In fact some of our youth are already introduced to such corruption. I am writing this to unfold this questionable doings just to be economically stable. This is not right, it is better to lead the trans youth to a better way of finding money. A decent way to be financially capable of supporting one’s self and her family. After all nothing beats an independent transgender woman!