Don’t send money to ladyboys you meet online

Posted on January 2, 2014
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That can sound obvious to some people, but for most newbies (I mean, men who are new to dating Asian ladyboys) reading this article can save you some money and some heart breaking!

I learnt a lot myself since I open my dating site for ladyboys, not just about the technical aspects, but also about people. Why would you ever send money to a ladyboy you meet online anyways? You probably never sent money like this to the women you dated back in your home country (in Europe, or in America…) right? When you date a woman, sure you’re going to pay the restaurant bill or the cinema ticket, but it’s not like the woman becomes instantly depending on your for her basic needs, like paying her rent or her electricity, it just doesn’t make sense.

Well there are 2 big categories of situations where you might end up sending money to an Asian ladyboy. First, she could be a scammer, plain and simple, whose unique goal is to get money from you by pretending to be in love with you and calling you sweet names all day long. You are never going to meet her (or him, it could well be a man using photos of a pretty girl to lure you), she will do anything to postpone your meeting and skim you to the max until you give up.

Second category are the ladyboys with whom you would have a more or less real relationship, you are going to meet her when you travel to her country (Philippines, Thailand…), you will meet her family and friends. But this relationship has a price: you need to support her, her basic needs, rent, utility bills, make up, hormones… (sometimes way more than just the “basic” needs). If you’re lucky, you’re the only man in her life, but she could well be doing the same thing with several men at the same time, she just has to make sure that none of you guys know about each other. They even have a term for you: they call you “sponsor”.

Obviously, you don’t want to be the sucker in this kind of situation. You are looking for a ladyboy girlfriend who will genuinely love you, as much as you love her. But scammers and opportunists don’t care about feelings, actually the more you are in love, the more you are an easy target for them.

Just don’t send money to ladyboy online

Protecting you can be simple though, just apply this basic rule: don’t send money to anybody (could be ladyboys, men or women) you meet online, for whatever reason.

I’ll tell you something: decent ladyboys will ask you nothing more than just being a honest and loving partner. They will not ask you to pay for anything, they are independent, proud and working for themselves. Yes they might have a lower standard of living compared to you, but still, they won’t ask you for money. Actually, you might even offend them if you offer (“Do you think I’m a whore?” when a ladyboy tells you that, that’s very good sign).

Some reasons why a ladyboy will ask you for money

  • need to pay for Internet connection, a telephone or a laptop (she will say it’s because she wants to spend time online chatting with you, most often she will ask you way bigger amounts than the actual cost of the things)
  • she is sick (or one of her relatives is sick) and she needs to pay hospital bill
  • it’s christmas (or New Year Eve, or Valentine’s Day, or holidays) and she is too poor to afford a dinner for her family

Sometimes she is asking explicitly (“Please send me some money hun?“), sometimes it’s implicit (always reminding you in your conversations how much life is hard and how much she is poor and how much the bad people in her country discriminate her from getting a job — which is far from being true…). In any case, if you end up having a financial transaction with a ladyboy you met online, think twice.

Why you don’t need to send anything

And I will tell you now the secret. The truth is you don’t even need to send anything to the ladyboy(s) you meet online. This would apply more to old western men for example, who believe they would never catch the attention of a younger (sexy) ladyboy if he didn’t show off some money. That is wrong. You, western men, have a big natural leverage when you date Asian ladyboys: it’s hard for ladyboys to find a local guy willing to be in a serious relationship with them. Most of the local guys are either looking for casual sex, or they get financially supported by their ladyboy girlfriend (see the irony, how roles get inverted now).

So I’ll rephrase: it’s hard for ladyboys to find a genuine partner, as a consequence, western men have a leverage when they date ladyboys, and that means for example that you can date a ladyboy who is younger than you, and maybe hotter than what you think you can get, as long as you prove yourself a sincere man (not if you’re a god damn player, because she doesn’t need to get a foreigner if all she wants is sex, she can get it locally). Ladyboys will highly value a man with a good heart, sincere and ready for commitment. Age and body are more secondary.

And money shouldn’t be part of the equation (at least not at the beginning). If you are chatting with a ladyboy and money gets involved, that’s a big red flag and you should be aware that 1) you are going to waste money and 2) this is not going to become a relationship anyways. Politely say good bye and move on to the next contact, there are plenty of single genuine ladyboys on My Ladyboy Date, so you don’t need to waste your time and your money with somebody who is not worth it.

Oh and don’t forget to report these behaviours to our moderators, so they can take proper action 😉

About the author

French man living in the Philippines, founder of myladyboydate.com and mytranssexualdate.com

10 responses to “Don’t send money to ladyboys you meet online”

  1. Yumie Olivo says:

    As a ladyboy myself , I think your article is comprehensive and informative about western guys should not send a money on-line to ladyboys they meet on internet . But in a deeper sense , I think it is a discrimination to both parties . Sending money and all other monetary transaction is way too personal for them and it is not a problem of the site anyways ; in the first place it is a PERSONAL CHOICE whether to be involve in a transaction that might milk their money out of them . Hope you acknowledge this comment 🙂

    XOXO
    Yumie

    • You are right, we are not responsible if men decide to send money, it’s their choice in the end. The question is tricky, that’s why we are very interested in the issue. Because on one hand, we have men (not all of course) who are deciding to send money to ladyboys they meet online, they are adults and responsible for their actions. On the other hand, we have ladyboys (not all of course!) who take advantage on this situation, and take advantage on the generosity of these men — in almost a professional way of doing things, copy paste of the same messages to many men (“it’s christmas and I don’t have money to buy food” and the like) until one gets hooked up enough to send some cash. This is amoral.

      It becomes more problematic when these men don’t realise what’s happening to them. They could be in love and get heart broken, they could get into financial difficulties later on (I know of guys who got broke because of this, no joke). And what does the trans community gain with this? Strengthening the stigmas that they already suffer from. That’s too bad for both sides.

      In an ideal world, all members of our dating site would be here for one thing: dating. But some pretend to be here for dating when in fact they have a hidden goal…

      But you’re right, this shouldn’t be our responsibility to get involved in adults choices. Raising awareness is about all we can do 🙂 Thanks for your comment!

  2. wehh says:

    Isn’t it the same with cisgender women asking men to send them money online? Why discriminate against “ladyboys”? and the term is actually offensive. It should be transgender women. or just tg women. Stupid site.

    • Thank you for your enlightening comment.

      Of course cisgender people (women as well as men btw) operate scams too, which is stated in the article (look for the sentence “could be ladyboys, men or women”).

      Faithful to the name of our site, we run a dating site for “ladyboys” (local term employed in Asia for transgender women) so I logically centred the article on “ladyboy” scammers.

    • Randal Gossip says:

      Ladyboys do not object to being called this . I would use the term to distinguish from western tg women who are not usually convincing or just plain men in tights.

  3. MK says:

    “A fool and his money are soon parted.” I have been on “Ladyboy” dating sites for awhile now. I learned that certain questions upfront often help me weed out the scammers. Do you work? Do you live with your parents? These are the first two. I think I have heard every excuse to beg for money. The first request for money will get that contact dropped off my list. I also love the ones that say “Its my birthday, where is my gift?” I usually ask what did they get me for my birthday. Of course, if I want to give, then it is my choice. However, expect nothing in return. But if you are a fool, send money and feel good that you are helping the local economy.

  4. Randal Gossip says:

    What to you when your Ladyboy loves you when you send money and wants to finish when you do not !!

  5. meng says:

    no reason to any ladyboy to have no income… they can sell foods,they can do online business just like me,im advertising online to earn money…

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