3 major questions that offend transsexuals

Posted on August 26, 2013
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Transgenders are the most sensitive persons that you will ever meet. If you are not familiar with them or it’s your first encounter with a transwoman, then you better watch your actions carefully. “Think before you speak” I know you are curious like everybody else but you need to understand that transgenders are human beings, we have emotions and we get offended. Not to mention even the word ladyboy is very offensive mostly for American transgenders.

Which I totally understand  since media is giving an offensive view towards such word associating it into decent photos and videos.  And there is an ongoing series about ladyboys in UK, which somehow shows a different side of ladyboys but there are still transgender advocates from Europe who are intolerant in using the word ladyboy.

Although Myladyboydate.com is an advocate for transgenders we are still taking the risk of using ladyboy in our title for we wish to make a change. And such change will be tackled in our next article.Mean while here are three major questions that is a big no no while conversing with a transsexuals.

Should I refer you as SHE or HE?

Obviously,if you see a woman wearing dress or even simple girls stuff like tight jeans and a sexy top, you have to use the correct pronoun. Someone who identifies herself as a woman prefers feminine words such as she or her. Let me give you tip on this, if it is hard for you to refer her as She or, try to train yourself by the name they ask you to use.

Are you TOP or Bottom?

Never ask this stupid question. It is surely an insult. Telling people that she is a transgender woman is a very difficult thing to say it out loud. Literally, if you ask this question, it is exactly like you ask your own blood sister either is she still a virgin or not. Awkwardness to THE POWER OF 10! It is best to keep the sex preferences near to your heart and hers. Never ever asked this in public or even upfront.

So that means your boyfriend is gay?

Being in a relationship with a transgender woman is not easy, yet you still have the confidence to pour those poison inside her by asking about her boyfriend’s sex orientation. It is so obvious that, in a relationship with a transgender woman is like any other relationship with something “extra”.Love knows no gender that is the rule. If you are really so curios about this topic then asked it in a nice way with an introduction saying that you are interested with this topic. If you do not know how to do it then do your own research. It’s better and safer.

Friends some people believe that the best “medicine” for a person being transgender is to understand them. But i believe that is the wrong “prescription”. The best “cure” for a transgender woman is to ACCEPT them and treat them like other human being. This is because, all of us are human beings that stay under one roof which is EARTH. Let us make Earth become the most heaven-ish place in the universe.

 

About the author

Blogger and author for My Ladyboy Date. Apart from that I'm a graduated MBA student who love to write about relationship and the people who live surround me. I will write everything from sex, happy relationship, fairy tales marriage, or even how to deal with your own YOU! I will try my very best to share you everything that is INSIDE MY MIND because ,MY VERY FIRST REASON i come up with this idea bcoz i want to share the pain and the love that i had observed for a million years in my life. I have my own different point of view. I might be wrong and you can assist me.That is what KNOWLEDGE is about. People always say that drama is something that created by me!But u know what!YOU ARE WRONG! actually to be more details and more specific! I AM THE DRAMA! my drama is not lame and fake! my drama is REALITY!

4 responses to “3 major questions that offend transsexuals”

  1. Kristina Cassanova says:

    I guess what insults me the most is asking the question : “You have skype?” or whatever they try to lure you into cam chats even during the 1st meeting in web social media or the stuff.

  2. Just call me Tim says:

    Wow, where to begin…there are so many things I disagree with in this article, it’s hard to know where to start.

    First of all, this article is based on the opinions of its author, not universal truths. Every time I hear or read a transgender claiming that “all” transgenders feel this way or that way, I know she’s not writing based on facts, but based on her own experiences, perhaps including the experience of hearing from some other transgenders who share her views. And nearly every time, I can reach into my own experience with members of the transgender community to refute her claims.

    The first transgender I ever met danced with the Amazing Show in Manila, and lived with a large group of dancers from the show. Needless to say, most were quite attractive, certainly talented and hard-working. I was at their home one day prior to the nightly performance, and many dancers were there (I ended up giving several a lift to the Theater), along with one male employee of the Show. I asked to take a photo of the group, and when he joined in, I apologized but explained I didn’t want any guys in the photo. My friend (yes, we are still friends after 7 years, though she doesn’t dance with the Show anymore), smiled and said “we are all guys”.

    The thing is, just the night before, she had said “I’m a woman now”. So it’s absurd for the author to claim offense at the correct way to address transgenders, if even among the transgender community there is confusion about how to address oneself. The question “how shall I address you, he or she?” is perfectly legitimate.

    And if someone calls himself “Larry”, or “Emilio”, or any other specifically male name, then I won’t be able to think of him as a woman no matter what he does. His choice, and my reaction. (And yes, I get that your family is going to continue to call you what your family has always called you, and of course that’s perfectly acceptable.) We can be friends, but I won’t be attracted to someone who doesn’t understand that most men who are attracted to transgenders like WOMEN.

    Regarding top or bottom… again, it’s a perfectly reasonable question, and since transgenders do TRANSITION, in other words, cross a boundary from one gender to another, it’s understandable that such a question would come up. If the author is awkward about answering the question, may I suggest that the issue is not with the question, but with the author.

    Neither of those questions has EVER brought a negative response in my experience… not in word, not in deed, not in flaring of nostrils, squirming in her chair, dilation of pupils…NEVER, in any way.

    In her last paragraph, the author frankly disrespects all transgenders by declaring that they somehow need to be “cured”. And has the nerve to say that others are offensive. Truly remarkable.

    • Hi Tim, your story with the Amazing Show girls is pretty much a good example for reinforcing the author’s point. It’s not because “ladyboys” will address each others with names like, well, “ladyboy” (or balka, for the Philippines, or any other private joke such as “we are all guys”…) … that they will appreciate that outsiders address them that way.

      A good analogy is the black people community: they often call each others “nigger”, which is not offending to them because it comes from inside… But would a white person or an Asian call them niggers and it takes an all different meaning, and all different notion of respect.

      That’s why in 99% of the cases, you’re not taking any risk calling transgenders with a female pronoun. You might not offend all the TS by employing male pronouns either, but the risk is higher!

  3. Andreia says:

    I’d like to join this site but no. Site name offends me.

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